animal clinic called today and said that dr blum wants to see us. and yes, so we went in the afternoon. donny can go home. it was such a surprise. we didnt thought about it too.
but it is for a trial. the clinic he is staying needs a paint. so dr blum suggest he can go home. partly of this reason and partly because he might feel more happy at home. he still have the needle tube or whatever you call it on one of his leg. he is supposed to go back on monday to check on his condition and to get this thing out too. so if he have to stay again, the needle can still be used.
dr blum is going on leave for two weeks. so we gotta see dr nathan. he is under five medications. all very hard to feed one. use the syringe, crush, soften. so much things. he needs very special attention and care.
his total medical expenses is $700. what a hefty sum ); well, so there goes donny in the car !! YAY! he was happy. here look look and there look look and he was wagging his tail. he smiled for few seconds too ! =D he was so anxious to walk but i dont allow. cos we didnt bring his leash too.
yesyes, he love the smell of HOME. was walking here and there exploring. seeing if anything had changed. but after awhile, he went to his regular place, under the sofa and lie down. i think he alr used alot of his energy to get excited alr. he is tired.
dr blum said that red blood cells are the ones that transport oxygen. since he has lesser, that means lesser oxygen carried and thus lesser energy. we cannot let him run and jump around even if he wants to. somemore theres the needle tube thingy. i can see its painful yarh.
and so, it was his dinner time, mixed some of the food that vet prescribed with the dry food he had been eating. but he only ate 3/4 of it. so we were wondering why. THEN! we found out that his dry food expired alr! MAR 24 !! that bloody pet shop seller gave mummy this packet of food 2weeks ago! and i believe this cause him to have diarrea too lorh. wahh! so me and mummy go say the auntie.
that auntie admit that we bought it from her but dont wanna admit that she sells expired food. since we no receipt, we also cant do anything. so she charged mummy half price for the new food we bought. grr~ very angry with this shop. zzz
so immediately called dr blum and told her. lucky she say that he only ate abit of it, so wont be much of a prob. heng arhh~ heng arhh~ if not arhh.. zzz. dont know what to say man =x
keeping donny at home makes me more worried. cos his behaviour scares me. so listless. and he poos right after he eats. hurts me so to see him so sick. i rather he is hospitalised, under the care of vets and nurses. then when we visit him, he will wag his tail. liddat more relieve.
he kept hiding under the sofa. call him come out also dont want. so saddening ); its very hard to take care of him now. i dont know what is good and what is bad. sighhhhhhhhh~
mummy say he cannot jump up to my bed. cos need energy. but i can see that he misses it.
GET WELL SOON DONNY! SO THAT WE CAN SLEEP TOGETHER AGAIN!
*I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT DO I NEED NOW. LOVE? BUT FROM YOU OR FROM OTHERS? *
with love @ 22:15
izuwan and seri were very cool on stage with their drillcanes. awww~ that angry-fying incident.
was tempted by chicken rice during recess but was feeling full. so xuan say she share with me. so nice of her (;
ears was auto shutting off during physics. did some nonsense. very funny. so went to the full paper amaths class. sian-ness. it was intergration. zzz. we ate the chocs leslie gave. and it cased me to be so hyper can? ley was later influenced too! HAHAH. then i started kee siao-ing. emotions are kinda unstable at that time. but all of them say they rather see me siao then emo. LOL' then drink water halfway shannon go poke my cheeks and the water came out like water fountain larh!! WAHH ! made me pai seh man. mr sia was pissed off and scolded us for keep playing. was having lotsa fun during maths. my hyper cells have been kept for too long. they wanna action! WAHAHAH
went central with ley and xuan. xuan wanna buy phone. so we accompanied her go ask the price and stuffs. the weather was super hot. they were talking nonsense about melvin chia. what tree what love. LOL! awww~ pls. he's just nice towards any girls. DOTS!
went to visit donny. his red blood cells increased from 2.3 to 2.7 (; white blood cells decreased from 22-20 (; platelets increased from 12 to 61 (; his is still having diarrea(i dont know how to spell) but the stools are slightly brown (; he is improving very SLOWLY. but its better then deproving. YAY!! he stood up for a longer period of time compared to the previous two days (; wagged his tail longer too. he is happy to see us. he didnt ate his dinner. maybe due to he having a heavy meal in the morning. hope he did eat after we left. they shaved his fur on the legs so as to locate the veins, arteries and stuffs. poor thing ); he needs a bathe. the cage is so bloody small for him to move around larh! disappointed. he cant even find a nice spot to poo. GRRR~ well, he is really really brighter now. XIE TIAN XIE DI! come back soon ok? i dont wanna have illusions of you. and dont lao sai liao!!
i realised something. i would go for hongsters. iyo~ and is those high level bastard kind. so does that means that im a flirt? WAHH ~! I DONT WANT. marshmallow is still my priority. tree second ;p
i am emotionally unstable today.but my laughters are music to someone. first time hear this kinda example one. cartoon siah!
*WALK WITH ME TILL THE END OF THIS PATH.
JUST THIS PATH. I NEED YOU TO PULL ME THROUGH. WILL YOU? *
with love @ 22:21
received a call from dr blum during f&n today. it was a missed call so i called back. was very anxious cos the line was engaged. tried for awhile finally got through. she said that donny's red blood cells level drop a lil to 2.3. however he was eating well and he looked more brighter. i dont know if this is good. but since the rbc are dropping constantly, im afraid it will continue );
couldnt hold it any longer. during basics was being emo. leslie and mel chia were so shocked and scared. especially mel chia, he very scared me one. after one last year's encounter. but yarh, i cant control. its.. haix~ i dont know. after some cooling down, was back to normal.
went for maths, eng wee and prawn discussed and said that i should that full paper for amaths. its like, why lorh. ten chapters is just nice. then thought for awhile and decided to give it a try. we'll see how it goes.
had lunch with xuan,rin and amanda at long john. yeah, very long nv had lunch like this alr. very full arhh.
then went home waiting for 6pm cos we gonna visit donny. nowadays dont know why, i can go to sleep when i close my eyes. but i am still clear about the surroundings. so its not like deep sleep. semi-sleeping condition i can say. 'slept' for awhile then it was 6 alr.
talked to dr blum. donny's stool contains blood. its internal bleeding. but she dont know where it is. alot of test will be carried out to locate the spot. a huge amount of money will be needed and donny might not be able to take the test. he dont have enough platelets to clot the blood inside which is bad. she gave him vit K and some antibiotics and stuffs. if he still continues to bleed, its not gonna be good. she said that donny's condition is still critical. half of the reason that contributed to the loss or red blood cells was parasites. the other half, we still dont know. his blood is too.. (i dont know how to say) to test.
for now, his expenses had alr hit 400+. a blood test needs $30. can you imagine? and if he continues to stay, it will definitely go up. lets just hope that his stools would be brown tml.
the only thing we could do now is just to wait and see how he copes. we cant do anything now. all of us are frustrated including dr blum.
went to take a look at him. he wagged his tail and moved forward to the gate of the cage.
he is definitely brighter than the day he was admitted. his ears are a lil redder compared to the pale white. he ate two meals a day which is very remarkable as usually when someone is sick, they dont even wanna eat. look at his bandages. it hurts me so )';
dr blum was surprised that i understand those bio terms and stuffs. well, i learnt all these and it is even harder to accept when i can digest all her words at once. and when i have to translate to simpler words, you know its hard.
donny gets tired after entertaining us. he looks thirsty but he cannot drink so much. my heart aches. how i wish i could stay there with him. he needs supports dont he? "you wanna go home right? be strong !" brown stools pls.
a shell for love
a shell for studies
a shell for stjohn
A SHELL FOR DONNY
- i aint a tortoise. i cant carry so many shells.
i miss the way you stamp your feets when i come home
i miss the way you jump high when i hold your tidbits in my hand
i miss the way you run like crazy when you are nonsense-ing
i miss the way you stare at me when i am eating
i miss the way you smell my slippers to check where i went
i miss the way you bark at strangers
i miss the way you sleep beside me back facing back
i miss the way you hide under the sofa cos you pee on the floor
i miss the way you sat infront of me cos you know im down
& i miss the way you lick my tears when they fall
*MY HEARTBEAT STILL INCREASED AT THAT MOMENT. SO I KNOW IT HADNT STOP. BUT OUR FATE, IT HAS ALREADY ENDED*
with love @ 22:31
came back awhile ago after visiting donny. his latest blood test is out. his red blood cells dropped a lil. from 3.14 to 2.8. platelets did increased from 1 to 4 but its still too little. white blood cells did drop but its only a slight one. dr blum wasnt there so we cannot get the best explanation of donny's condition. the nurses there said that she will call in the next half an hour.
upon seeing me, donny did feel happy. but but. this time round, he is more restless compared to the afternoon. he did not eat after he had in the morning. i dont know why. maybe he is not hungry or what. after awhile, he did not want to face us. he kept turning his face away. boy, dont do this )';
went home and dr blum called. she said that the slight drop of the red blood cells is still manageable. but if it continues to drop till morning tml, she will have to consider if she wants another blood tranfusion for donny to keep his fighting spirit. i did heard from the nurses that second blood transfusion is a much more complicated process. i really dont know what to do now. tml's blood test must be a good one. i pray i chant i cry i beg. i dont want another blood transfusion. donny might not be able to take it. he is really weak now. i had never seen him like this before. i tried to hold back my tears at the clinic although a one or two drops fell. but yarh, i held it back all the way home. and only till now then they starts to fall.
my friends are all very caring and worried for me and donny. thanks all ! shannon still helped checked online for all sorts of things. and she said if donny needs blood again and there is no more dog who can help, she will see if einstein can. yes yes. im really touched. thanks so much. and i feel so sorry because i cant celebrate xuan's birthday with her happily.
donny, can you see that everyone is praying for you? pull through will you? it would be anything just for you. please dont leave. i cant take it really. so much in these 53mths. i dont want it to just stop here. a call of good news tml pls? i thought miracles once happened? show it again!
if this is a retribution, can you take some other thing away instead? pass my luck four years ago to him.
his eyes told me he dont wanna go!*I KNOW THERE ARE NO MORE REASONS BETWEEN US. IT GETS SO OBVIOUS WHEN FATE SHOWS. WE HAD WALKED TILL THIS POINT WHERE NOTHING CAN CARRY US ANY FURTHER. *
with love @ 22:08
no mood for stjohn day today. morning the cadets are moving very slowly. really is no time alr lorh! but luckily all the cadets did turn up. thats something to be relieved. so yarh, everything goes on smoothly.
very shag arhh. before recess the time didnt even feel like talking. luckily ley entertained me during chinese. then better alr. chiong-ed home after sch to go animal clinic with mummy. im anxious to know the blood test result.
donny did wag his tail when he sees us. phew~ he also did ate his food. he is on sodium drip now. two hands bandage, so heartache )'; the results shows that his red blood cell level did increase to 3.41 compared to the previous 0.96. but the ideal range is 5.5-7.5. so its still not good. apart of that, his platelets level went down to 1 which is very low. really very worried. the 150ml of blood had alr been transfused and there is no sign of repel. so its good. i can see that he is very tired. my heart really very pain. just what the hell is the cause of this man. awww~
tonight there will be another blood test. this result would be a better confirmation alr. PRAY HARD THAT ITS GOOD! gonna go down later again. haix~ very hard to tahan. so much things to care. i will breakdown if this carry on )';
come back soon my dear )'; i miss your smile
none of my closest had ever encountered life-death cases. i dont wanna face it so soon.
im willing to cut myself and give you my blood. DONNY, HANG ON!!!!!
with love @ 17:15
i made a mess of myself during lunch at mac. sauces and coke was all over me. i dont know what's wrong with me. i sense some bad omen then.
after that, brought donny to animal clinic with daddy and mummy. he is very listless for the past four days. today more jia lat. he cant even balance himself. i made him walk but his hind legs dont have strengths. they are so wobbly and they give out. i was anxious and was so afraid. this is very serious if you dont realise. in the car, he usually likes to look around. getting so excited of the surroundings. but he just lie there in the position i laid him. he do not even have the strength to move his body. and he dont response to anything.
we consulted dr blum this time round. she said donny is really pale and the situation is quite bad and he would have to be hospitalised. she said that donny's gum are very dry. not moisture which is normal. his ears were pale whitish. NO blood color. and his temperature was low. she said donny have to do two blood tests so as to know more. upon hearing that, my tears alr a little cant control alr. to be hospitalised shows how serious is the condition. im so afraid.
after half and hour when the results are out, she said that his organs are perfectly alright except for the pancreas. some digestion problem i guess but its not that serious. the most serious one is that donny practically have NO RED BLOOD CELLS. the normal range is 5.5-7.5. yet donny's one is ONLY 0.96. its less than 1 ! this is really very serious. dr blum said that too. donny is not making and red blood cells in his body and if this carries on, he will die. the only solution is to have a blood transfusion. this does not 100% guarantee that he will recover. cos his condition is really bad. she also suggest if we can just put him to sleep. my parents also agreed. BUT NO!! I INSISTED THE BLOOD TRANFUSION WITH TEARS HERE AND THERE. the cost is high, of course it'd be. and mummy daddy was afraid if donny cant make it, we will waste a sum of money. but thats not the point right?
if we dont try, he will die. if we try, at least he still got a chance! we cant deprive his chance! my emotions was very unstable. really. i'd never been like this in the public. but i cant control. we have to get the blood from jalan kayu which is at yiochukang. its really very very far ok. and the cost for 250ml of blood is $150. can you imagine how expensive it is.
so the three of us went. daddy had never been there before, so he was there kao bei-ing. all of us were frustrated, agitated sad and blah blah whatever you can suggest. they say i not LI ZHI at all. putting him to slp is a better way. NO CAN. i dont think he wanna leave either! me and daddy was like quarrelling cos he there kao bei kao bu. we spent quite a long time on the road finding the way. i was crying nonstop that time. this is too sudden. he had always been so healthy and active. why like this? i really dont understand.
reached that clinic. ALL PETS after an hour or so car ride. they prepared to tranfuse blood from a big dog. but unfortunately, 150ml is the maximum they can give. i feel so sad getting blood from a dog who is so healthy. i hope he is alright. the vet there said 150ml should be enough for my small donny. so then we drove back to sunset way. its another one hour or so ride. so in total, we spend 2.5hrs just to get the blood back to ANIMAL CLINIC. tedious.
when we reached there, the doc said 150ml is not enough. my heart sanked like titanic. then she said but its better than nothing. the blood transfusion will last for 4hours. so i can only know the results and see donny tml. its very critical now. im really very messed up. nth can happen to him. his eyes tells me he dont wanna leave! )';
whatever solutions it is. if can cure him, everything also can. this is the most LI ZHI thinking can. zzzzzzzzz
i know its not a guarantee that donny will recover. but at least i tried. whatever outcome it would be, i know i tried. i know i didnt let myself and donny down.
im really very shag now. i wanna die alr. i cannot hang on for long. tml is stjohn day. had not been that, i wouldnt even wanna go to sch. what wrong had i done in my previous life? spare me pls )';
*WHY DO YOU STILL CARE WHEN YOU SHOWED THAT YOU DONT. IM TOO TIRED TO THINK. *
with love @ 22:16
first day of sch. didnt feel like talking. so i didnt really talked to anyone. dots. i got my own sign language. ley and xuan will understand (;
new timetable sucks. got two consecutive periods of PE one. and it will be for tml. zzz.
eng wee asked those who are taking amaths if they wanna drop it, continue, or just study the main ten chapters. yarh, it had been quite hard to cope for me. so i choose the ten chapters one.
if you think that this decision is not really good and you would rather study the whole syllabus, then what for are you standing on this side? lame-nessso he was teaching vectors. he talked about ratio. so i thought of ME:YOU. hahah. not bad right?
after sch had chicken rice with rin and jia sisters. very long nv eat sch food liao. hahaha.
then had a short rehearsal for stjohn day. everything is going quite smoothly. hope nth will cock up on the actual day right?
donny's condition is getting worse. i really dont know what's happening to him. we were like guessing if he has a sore throat, stomach got worms, or psychological prob. mummy is also very worried. only able to bring him to the vet on wed cos mummy wed then free. he dont get hyper alr. thats very unusual. awwwwwww~
*SO, AS EXPECTED. THE SIGHT OF YOU BROUGHT EVERYTHING BACK. I GUESS I KNOW WHEN WILL THIS TORMENT STOP. I KNOW YOU STILL REMEMBERS. BUT YOU ONCE SAID. MEMORIES ARE TO BE KEPT. I KNOW YOU ARE ONLY KEEPING IT. NOT REMINISCING.*
with love @ 22:12
last night slept at 11plus. that was a very early time you know. then this morning woke up at 6.30 cos have to go hq. my body really cannot take it. not used to sleeping earlier than usual. was yawning all the way and was half asleep on train.
reached hq, helped in setting up the hall with chairs. sian-ness. i was still very sleepy. there were around 200 CCB recipients if im not wrong. will start from zone one all the way to zone ten. &&& we were zone seven. imagine how i sat on the chair waiting for zone one to six to get their CCBs. cannot tahan alr. *yawnsyawnsyawns*
donny didnt touch his food at all. i dont know what happened to him. he is very listless and restless and moody. he didnt even wag his tail when he normally would. he kept hide under the sofa. so i brought him down for a walk hoping that he will be more lively. but he walked awhile alr then dont want. awwww~ what happened !! dont scare me please donny )'; really very scared anything will happen to him. sobsssssss
sch is starting tml alr. siansiansian. im tiredtiredtired.
*A BAD HABIT; MY TORTUROUS ROUTINES. EVERYTHING WILL BE BACK AGAIN. THESE WERE THE DAYS WITHOUT YOU. I'M ALREADY USED TO GET BUSY TO PASS MY DAYS. *
with love @ 22:14
a brief post today. cos im tired.
parade was okok. but still got those small mistakes here and there. but in all, its ok.
well, its very hard to have everything perfect and smoothly done. there were some cock ups. ok, forget it.
bbq was. WAHH~ 'BYOP-BRING YOUR OWN PIT' eichien booked this dont know whar place and landed us have to use those portable bbq pit. somemore booking fee so ex. cheat money one larh. grrr~ dont say lerh. lucky i still had marshmallows. and it is well bbq-ed. outside crispy inside melty. hahah. that's the best man! dont wanna waste brain juice recall what happened lerh. but i aint happy in this bbq.
the cadets gave me an ELMO plushie. but that one i got alr. so i exchanged with lingfeng's cookie monster. LOLOL' my first cookie monster. its my POP today yet i was the one who cleared up and settle everything. same goes to lingfeng. at least the CSM now is good. she stayed till the very end and was the last to leave too. walked home from westcoastpark. it seems like the only way to go home. had alr been walking home from there 3times. leg really abit tired.
i dont think i was missing him that time but my leg just made me walk that path. like a reflex action. tml morning still gotta go take chief com badge. wahh sian. tired leah.
blah blah blah. there's so much that i want to talk about today but my brain aint thinking very well ); was too busy to even take pictures too. haiyo~ my POP made me so so so tired man. grrr~
donny seems sick. he is listless and he hardly eats his food. awww~ dont like this leah. dont let me worry for one more thing pls );
*WE WERE JUST A 10MINUTES DISTANCE AWAY BUT ITS REALLY VERY FAR. I DIDNT MISS YOU. BUT I KNOW IT HAD GRADUALLY BECAME A HABIT TO HAVE YOU IN MIND.*
with love @ 22:54
bio prac was boring today. not fun at all one. zzz lucky ended at 12pm.
after that went army market with xuan cos i want to collect drillcane and she also wanna go see what's there. this is very angry-fying! that stupid shop -
EMILY'S CAMPING AND INDUSTRIAL SUPPLY cheat my feelings larh! that drillcane i ordered one week ago then ytd should be the time to collect then she say today then can. so today i go, she not there. call her, she said that she is unable to give me the thing by today. ask me next week can anot. of cos cannot larh! wahh piang!! i need it tml can. damn you larh. still made me wait so long. waste my precious time. shit it! im gonna blacklist this black shop. sucks !!
mummy say that shop should pay me double the deposit i deposited cos they didnt keep their promise of giving me the thing i want to the day. somemore i gave them a chance of one day lorh. GRRR~!! ANGRY LIKE HELL LARH!
beach road very near lavender, so xuan said she wanna go bugis to buy present for her mother. this busstop only got one bus, 100. since bugis is just infront, i think this bus will go there. but to my disappointment, it didnt. so we went to vivo instead. this wu da wu zhuang brought xuan surprise. mango got BIG sale. LOLOL' and other boutiques too. but she very fickle-minded. dont know want which one. cos i got tuition, left at 5. she stayed there and shopped. hahah. hope she can buy the thing that suits her mind. very apologetic that she went army market with me for nth. sorry right.
wellwell, tml is POP. i dont know how my cadets buy things one. buy bbq thing buy until over-budget when last time alr check the price wont over lorh.whats the prob man. i very hate buy things over-budget one larh. piangggg
tired man. tml whole day dedicate to stjohn. sunday morning also. next half week also. this is killing me lahr. very tired can. my brain not enough memory to think of other things except stjohn liao. and i pray pray pray. tml will be a successful day. ARGGGHH~
*I KNOW IT WOULD BE SOON. BUT BOY, I DONT KNOW IF I CAN TAKE IT.*
with love @ 23:01
went lavender to collect awards, buy ranks and badges today. the drillcane tml den can take, very what lorh. wahh piang! grr~ another trip.
reached home, bathe, rest awhile then meet xuan go weikiat's bbq lerh. all guys there, at there like very weird. all very despo for girls one. zzz me and xuan went to sit at another corner. the host was weikiat. i think he did alot of things. thanks for inviting anyways. me, xuan and aaron was like talking alot of rubbish. ahem~ devotion?
LOL' reached home at ard 1130. tml still got bio. sian-ness. then going army market to collect drillcane with xuan. POP is on saturday! oh my god!!
walked home just now. dont know why walk walk walk walk until that direction. so stupid man! haiyo~ im very tired of all the things happening. stressed. there are so much funny things that can make ppl laugh. but i dunno why i cant laugh leah. disappointed. my time quite tight to do all the necessary things. shit arhh!
put me behind bars because im a murderer. a thousand sorries wont make up. i can be whatever you think i am, i dont care for my face anymore. i prefer to walk this path alone. wont drag other ppl to suffer with me. its a sin.
*I KNOW THIS TIME WILL COME SOONER OR LATER. YOUR DECISION;I ACCEPT.*
with love @ 23:43
slept at 4am this morning. was chatting with nicholas and carin. one on msn and one on phone. rin's issue was HEART OF GREED. hahah. as for nicholas, we talked about our chaotic sec2 experiences. there were alot of flashbacks in my mind and im so glad that i walked that year out.
i cant believe i can still rmb every single thing that took place then. cos it was traumatizing i guess.
morning went bigbookshop with eichien to buy the materials for certs. or in fact, noon? she was late ok. zzz!
i wanted to eat shaker fries one lorh. then sold out you know! wahh~ angry. but she gave me mac $2 voucher. so i used that to buy fries. HAHAH. this is good.
then we bus-ed down to sch to print the certs. after finish printing the enrolment certs, i then realise there's a mistake. but we not enough paper to re-print alr. so we asked jasmine to go bigbookshop and buy for us and send it here. HAHAH! so troublesome. but cos really no choice marh. sch printer is really super lousy. slow like tortoise arhh. so meanwhile, i went youtube to watch my-the-son. LOL'! i intro them too and i did a live show for them. HAHAH! cos the com no sound marh. so i imitate and let them hear. LOLOLOL' i can see that they enjoyed ok. its nice (;
at night went for tuition. today's work is not bad. hahahah. and because of that, i missed the show that tan chor seng joined. awww~ disappointed.
till now, i dont think i got forgot to do anything today. but eichien did. she left her cd in the com lab. WAHAHAH~ still laugh at me right. dont know why today i so heng nv forget anything. is it because, he is back? LOL'
anyways, look at this. SHORT HAIR ALERT~ ;P
*I USUALLY CANNOT REMEMBER THE DREAMS THAT I HAD. BUT I AM SURE I DREAMT OF YOU LAST NIGHT. I HOPE IT WASNT A DREAM, BUT IT WAS. AND I KNOW WHY I HAD THIS DREAM. COS YOU KEPT APPEARING IN MY RETARDED BRAIN.*
with love @ 23:02
mummy brought me to check-up today. we reached earlier than the stated appointment time. so everything finished earlier. dr chng wasnt around. see dr goh instead. dont like male doc. i dont know why. zzz. had spirometry. doc said that the results are not bad. ok, this is good right. gonna see dr chng in 5mths time. lalala~
payment today was not so expensive compared to last time. on the way out the hospital, i was thinking about it. then i rmb, i FORGOTTEN my medication for nose, rhinocort. when the doc asked me about it earlier during the consultation, i still said i didnt use it when i did used it every single night. can anyone freaking tell me what's wrong with my brain? cos i was lazy. so i persuaded my mummy to just forget about it and get it next time.
i told mummy i still rmb the date and day when i was admitted to hospital. 22/10/03, Monday. LOL' i dont know why i can still rmb. i only had the impression that i was excited as i wanted to catch westside story on tv that day. but no chance =x
she told me the doc said that there is a possiblilty that everything in my body can gush up to my brain. like food. and i would have to go for a brain operation after im conscious. but luckily, i was perfectly alright after i woke up. i still craved for alot of food. WAHAHA. what a glutton.
ok. enough of stories. there's something funny i wanna share. when we were on the bus heading to NUH, there's this indian family occupying a long strectch of seats when they have only 3 person. so me and mummy was like talking about it. then when after check-up we wanna take a bus to jurong, we saw that family again. i was like asking mummy.. IS THIS FATE? haas'. so funny.
shopped ard jurong. mummy bought alot of things for herself. i bought none? LOL'
at jurong ec, saw kemin,yixun,yanlin and junyao. ahem ahem. are they up to something? AHAHAH.
had tom yam soup for dinner! its so yummy yummy can. awww~ i love tom yam yam yam yam.
POP is on this coming sat. im looking forward to receiving the gift my cadets are giving me. its ELMO. hahahahhahaha.
had been sleeping quite early for the past two days. latest is 1plus when i usually earliest is 2plus. do you know why? ;p only i will know. i think tml night i will slp late again. this is shit. haix~ and i really everyday will forget do something. WHYWHYWHY. my brain really CMI lerh huhh? argghh~
*NO DOUBTS, I THOUGHT OF YOU. IT HAS BEEN LONG SINCE I REMINISCE LIKE THIS.*
with love @ 22:29
daddy brought me and michelle to army market today cos i have to get the drillcane. well, got it at $22. sir say buy those with no logo one. i emphasised on NO LOGO to the auntie alr. hope next thurs she dont come and give me nonsense.
went bugis for a walk since its so near. then suddenly, this michelle come and hit me for several times shouting LEE BOON PENG(not sure how to spell). im like pls? its just your friend ok. also not stars or what lorh. lame larh. so high for what. zzz
daddy bought a black tshirt. i bought a checkered vest. michele bought a denim shorts. so we each gotten something today right? LOL'
i suddenly wanted to cook hot and sour soup. so went ntuc to buy the ingredients. the basic things i wanna buy is the soup base, prawns and CRABMEAT. other things see mummy how. if she say want add, then can buy also.
reached home and was watching tv. i asked mummy if i should cook the soup tonight. then suddenly, i rmb. I DIDNT BUY CRABMEAT. damn damn damn it. its like i still got say must buy when i stepped inside ntuc k. why would i cleanly forgotten about it? this is SHIT k. everyday forget this forget that. what will i forget tml? this brain cant function well alr. why not just erase all my memory? liddat better lorh! GRRR~
tml going checkup. sian~ i hate going checkup. everytime do same thing one. also dont know must check until when lorh. it has been 4yrs alr. and the stupid medical expenses. zzzzzzzz having illness is a total waste of money. whats more is that there is no cure for my illness >=(
*HEARING ABOUT YOU FROM OTHERS. THATS THE NEAREST WE CAN GO. IM SORRY FOR BEING SO CRAZY OVER YOU.*
with love @ 22:07
see see see. i'd forgotten when did i made this. but it was something that triggered me to do it.
but but but. i dont see the need of it alr. do you like it? lalala~
no wonder i said i would forget to do something today. an important thing somemore. but its not forget to do. cos i dont have to do it alr.
you know, you know, you know. dont say you can win
fate. its impossible. cos i admitted defeat. its very hard to fight.
i clearly saw the path i should head towards. was like a retarded all this while. oh man oh man. i cant help laughing.
i once thought tears are dried. but hey no no. the tap still works.
i dont have to tell you iloveyou anymore. you wont hope you will hear it.
i heard it myself. thats enough.
its better to go on a low-profile i guess.
ever felt so excited about something and suddenly a pail of water poured over you telling you that the game is over?
with love @ 01:44
training is still like normal. nth much happened. had spring cleaning. the room is bloody clean now. LOL'
st.john day will be on the 27th instead of 29th. i was like oh my gosh~ thats too soon! im scared =x awww~ save me!
have to buy a drillcane for POP since sir requested. so i decided to go down today since eichien is going to get the awards done too. i cancelled my tuition just to get the drillcane ok. so good right.
was raining when we left sch. idiotic. i hate it when it rains after sch activity.
had lunch at 7-11. was freaking hungry k. gonna faint liao. then me and eichien walked to clementi cos i gotta go home and get my ez-link card. HAHAH. i leg was super pain cos of the blisters. then this sadistic eichien dont let me change me footwear lorh. WAHH~ disappointed. headed to lavender then. ok, this new CSM also not bad until how larh. still got some responsibility cells. then am i too responsible? my POP i also have to do. haix~
check out the appointment nametag first. that uncle say $8 for one. ok, i was like. HUHH?! $8. whats this. last yr make also not so ex can. lame larh. so i didnt think much and left. its impossible to make the nametag gfor $8 seriously. iyo~ this ACSM arhh..
then we went to golden mile to collect the collar badges and make the awards. this eichien she dont rmb where is the shop you know. she bring me walk here and there. she only can recognise if she sees it again. and she only know its a corner corner shop. i was like. WHY DIDNT YOU GET THIER NAMECARD THE OTHER TIME? diao eehh~
so we finally found it. the uncle and auntie was very friendly and helpful. cos they are related to staff shujuan? LOL' we spent quite sometime discussing about the designs for the awards. and we were like counting the finance money from a plastic bag. i dont know why pearle have to put the money in a plastic bag. its 100over dollars k. this girl arhh. then this eichien forgotten its money and she still like hold it like nobody's business. alamak~ blurblur.
then we asked the uncle if they can help us make the nametag. he said can and it cost only
$2.50. HEY! THAT UNCLE AT ARMY MARKET, ARE YOU CHEATING MONEY. WHAT'S YOUR PROB MAN?!?! zzz.
then we went to buy gloves for the sec1s and we went off. on the train, we saw sister agatha. LOL' eichien called her umpteen times but she didnt responded. is she deaf? dots.
reached home and i was feeling hungry again. i dont know what's this man. like shit.
halfway through the dinner, i was like thinking why i cancelled tuition today. then i realise I FORGOTTEN TO GET THE DRILLCANE!!! OMG CAN?!!?!? at beach road i still got ask eichien take out the list of things we need to do to double check you know? cos i know my STM acting up recently so must write down. but she didnt take out and check!! GOSH LEAH~! i called her and scream shout cry when she just woke up from her slp. HEY! i cancelled my tuition just to get this thing done yet i didnt did it. WHATS THIS? HELLLLLLL!
i was bloody pissed off can. mood was swinging all around. my family also think i alil bit siao siao lorh. GRRR~ have to ask daddy tml bring me go buy liao. cos wed need it for rehearsal. if i dont get it done asap, i really cant fang xin lorh. i really dont understand why this kinda thing will happen. its the priority i set and i didnt did it. KILL ME MAN!
ohhh wellll.. enough of the whatever you call it. went to bathe just now. after one cycle, i dont know why i thought i haven bathe and i bathe again. SHIT! can somebody tell me what's wrong with me? brain got prob is it? awww~ my STM is getting very serious now. can cure anot?
ARGHH~ somemore having a flu cos i think cos im not on the medicine im supposed to be on. i'd run out of it. gotta get them on monday. i feel so SICK! damnnnn.
a couple of minutes ago an unknown number called me and didnt uttered a single word. only played a hokkien song 'i got 100million' so lame can. dont know which prankster was that larh. irritated by today larh. dont know what the hell is going on. STM is getting very very serious. and i got a feeling that i will forget to do something tml. zzzz
when the clock strucks 12 tonight, can you pray for me hoping that everything's ok? haix~
that nicholas told me a sentence last night that caused me to really have some deep thoughts.
'he really dont care much about you anymore' - something liddat. its something obvious and i had been constantly receiving reminders. i think i know what am i doing.
*THERE ARE SOME FEELINGS THAT I CAN FEEL MORE THAN YOU. "I LONGED FOR ETERNITY". DO YOU THINK I DONT? "GUESS IM JUST THOSE FAITHFUL TYPES". DO YOU THINK I AINT? WE WERE ALL BLINDED MY LOVE; A MYSTERIOUS KILLER.*
with love @ 22:01
Just So You KnowI shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
suddenly heard this song then i realise the lyrics very meaningful horh?
i feel like sending this song to him leah. zzz
aww~ this nicholas keep say me. TSKTSK
im so happy with this state can? im WILLING. awwwwwwww~
with love @ 00:36
last night offline at 3plus. like very long never so late offline lerh. was chatting and crapping with nicholas. some shit and plumber thing we talked about. funny. then i realise something. i found the reason to the causes of those dark circles. i finally realise why i always so late sleep and offline lerh. shit-ness. grrr~
went queensway to taper jeans today. one black one blue. mummy accompanied me cos she scared i anyhow. she took a BUS with me. but this time, she know how to take. HAHAH. xuan intro me this alteration shop one. not bad larh the skills. but made two times cos first time not good enough.
while waiting, i saw this BOY* and this GIRL* . hahah. xuan dont like one. i see alr also like T_T"
well well, the below pic is for ley to view. HAHAH
ley's eyes is dropping and jaw is opening wider and wider alr right? WAHAHAH. faster go buy larh! LOL'
after that went ikea to had dinner. yum yum. meatballs rocks right? HAHAH. and i bought one pkt of chicken sausage too. is ley jealous? LOL!
hmm, just received the promotion list from sir. when i see i was like WTH? what a great surprise horh? diao leah. cannot imagine. and POP is coming. i dont think everyone is ready. SHIT IT! unprepared year. zzz
eichien is undergoing what i went through last year. all the best yarh. CSM.
st.john stuffs are always stressing ppl like crazy. although im stepping down but i still feel the stress. and for eichien too =x
*THAT WAS A MOMENT OF FOLLY+IMPULSIVENESS. I KNOW I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO HAD BELIEVED. MY JUST DESERTS..*
with love @ 22:19
他和她的故事他说他很爱她
他说会守护她
他送她玫瑰花
一切美得不像话
从朋友变成情人
她不再只有自己
他爱他爱得彻底
真心溢满了甜蜜
时间看清一个人
开始令人昏沉沉
他像变了一个人太蛮横
她开始悬著疑问
不想再等他承认
不再要任何伤痕
谁爱谁 谁又流乾了眼泪
谁后悔 难分难舍太伤悲
他爱谁 谁应该止住眼泪
她心碎 谁又该乾脆离开
谁爱谁 谁又能反反覆覆
谁后悔 谁在忍受著孤独
谁了解 他退出她孤独
(谁了解 谁退出谁孤独)
爱得太盲目
谁不满足
a very very old song. suddenly heard it. realise that the lyrics very meaningful.
i wanna put as blog song one. but the skin is cute, song cannot be so sad one marh. dots!
let PPG be featured for one period of time first. cute cells wont stay long too.
&&& i cant stand those people with siblings at every corner AND make it so known to the whole world. disgusted with those JIEX MEIX DIX KORX. my gosh~ whats this.
WHY ARE YOU THE ONE? SHIT YOU MAN. YOU SUCKSSSSS
those flashbacks made me laugh.
you have no rights to love anyone.
not fit to be loved either
with love @ 23:55
HEY PPL!!
i changed my blogskin and song. nice anot? whole thing gives you a very cute feeling right? HAHAH. jena was right. even if sad also cannot make it so obvious.
leave comments at tagboard k? (;
well, today woke up at 2plus. yesyes. like tues right? dots. i also intend to not wake up one. but this time another person made me woke up. it was ley right? she sent me a msg. quite a shocking one. i was still hesitating whether to online and see it with my own eyes. like, why get so paranoid and stuffs? but i still.. haix~
saw it then. it was.. hmmm yarh, what can i say?
there's nth to say. there's just so much things that cant be expressed by words.
my day today sucks. bored to death can. life's getting tougher.
im gonna taper my jeans tml. at least a good thing to do. zzz
*YOU PULLED ME UP THE CLIFF. AND PUSHED ME DOWN AGAIN. THE ONE AND ONLY ONE WHO HAVE THE STRENGTH AND CAPABILITY. I TAKE MY HAT OFF TO YOU.*
with love @ 21:18
my year ones cadet are all very high after the camp. dont know why. but I LIKE! haas'
was quite fun today larh.
afternoon went peninsula shopping centre(dont know spell correct anot) cos my sis want skinny black. xuan told me this place one cheap and nice so i intro her lorh. butto our disappointment, dont have any suitable ones for her. sianx~ shopped ard at raffles shopping mall but also nth larh. cos i also no mood shopping. so damn boring.
then we went down to far east cos there also got jeans marh. we took mrt cos daddy wasnt here to be our chauffeur. LOL' then something very funny happened. it had been more than two years since mummy took a train. she dont know how to use ez-link card can? OMG! so like sua ku can. i couldnt stop laughing. she also cant stop laughing at herself. iyoyo~ like rich tai tai liddat only know how to sit car. zzz
reached far east. walk walk and walk, she finally found one nice one. like wth. i just went there ytd and got very sick of it. but i very anything one marh. ppl want go i will say ok one right? DOTS! saw jazreel. she very tall now can! aww~ still shoot me short ); im proud of my height k? tall no good larh. LOL!!
we like walked from one end to another end of orchard today. wahh piang. tired and sian can. in the end, i only bought one SMALL elmo figurine at cine. like.. WAHH WAHH. what's this? shit larh today. like ard 5hours of shopping and i got this. HATE HATE HATE. shopping sucks now.
and leg pain somemore >.<
time waits for no man! last minute then say need this and that. as if can meet the date lorh. why ppl nowadays so no brain one? ZZZ
*IM NOT YOUR ENTERTAINER. THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH THINGS THAT I CANT FIGURE OUT. DONT PLAY INDIRECT WITH ME. THEY ARE MUCH MORE HURTFUL THAN DIRECTS.*
with love @ 22:07
went town with xuan today. quite boring. only bought two elmo keychain. she bought two tops. but actually her main motive was to buy present. LOL'
my heels attituded me. got blisters =x
anyways, today was super boring larh. i dont wanna go shopping alr. zzz
had tuition at night. algebra. all the Qs all is got careless mistakes lorh. very disappointed with myself. 3hours. haix haix~
i dont know what has got into me lately. this is very shitty. i really hate this. will someone accompany to hell. will someone pls burn me a marshmallow boy )';
im getting very despo nowadays. awww~
*I REALLY HATE THIS. IM LIKE FOOLISHLY OVER-REACTING FOR NO REASONS. GETTING SO SENSITIVE FOR NOTHING. THIS SIMPLY SUCKS TO HIGH HEAVEN.*
with love @ 23:32
whenever i get so paranoid by every single little thing you did.
one word to describe - FATIGUE
when everything keep changing.
whether we like it anot, we cant do anything.
the love we would never deny.
too deep to gauge.too much to say.too far to reach.too obvious to hide.too hard to resist.too used to care.too heavy to carry.too sick of waiting.too late to regret.too pain to let gowhen we smiled and told ourselves and everyone, WE LOVE THEM IN ANY WAYS.
and when everyone tell us we are wrong. we told them, WE ARE RIGHT.
with love @ 23:55
slept till 2plus today. i intended to continue slping like nobody's business one. wake up also nothing to do. sian of facing the world. then lingfeng's call woke me up. she asked me to call jena. jena want me to go sch and take st.john room key. wahh~ disrupt my slp leah. so bian tai one she! ;p
so i just wash up blahblah and go out lerh. im just wearing shirt shorts and slippers. very 'home' pattern. dots! in the end, we ended up chatting in the room. seems like i not go there take key one. LOL' chatted for like 1hour you know? pro anot? LOL' then i pei her go d&t lab find chelsea and fanny cos she was waiting for them. i dont know why my heart was beating irregularly fast. and it sanked in just a few seconds. abnormal right. very sick of this feeling.
had my first meal at 5pm which is my dinner. good right? better still if whole day dont eat. i want be zombie. i wanna SUCK YOU DRY!
well, going out with xuan tml cos she wanna get some presents. but we dont know where to go now. nowhere interest me. i suggested hell. we will visit there soon tgt (;
since tml going out, have to finish f&n tonight lerh. cos tml night still got tuition somemore. sian-ness is surrounding me!
ok, im off to chiong f&n now. BYEEEEE
*I WONDER WHAT AM I AFRAID OF. OH GOSH~ ITS JUST A BOY. A PATHETIC LITTLE ONE. THOSE TIMES WHEN I GET SO PARANOID OVER YOU. I LAUGHED AT MYSELF. I WILL RAISE MY WHITE FLAG.
IM FREAKING TIRED OF THIS. *
with love @ 21:52
Until I Get Over YouWoke up today thinking of you
another night that i made my way through
so many dreams still left in my mind
but they can never come true
i press rewind and remember when
i close my eyes and i'm with you again
but in the end i can still feel the pain
- everytime i hear your name
the sun won't shine since you went away
seems like the rains falling every day
there's just one heart, where there once
was two
but that's the way it's gotta be,
'til i get over you....
walked through the park, in the evening air
i heard a voice and i thought you were there
i run away but i just can't escape
memories of you everywhere
they say that time will dry the tears
but true love burns for a thousand years
give my tomorrows for one yesterday
just to know i could have you here
when will this river of tears stop fallin'
where can i run so i won't feel alone
can't walk away when the pain keeps calling
i just gotta take it from here on my own
but it's so hard to let go
that's the way it's gotta be until i get over you
'til i get over you
xuan introduced this song to me just now. it has meaningful lyrics.
soon you will start your new chapter. once we wrote ours but i dont wanna read a book when it had long been finished. sometimes it gets a lil tired repeating the pages.
i tried to force tears out to smudge the words. but the ink were long dry. the tears werent like the past when it falls so easily.
perhaps she needs your shoulder more.
the one whom you'd first think of when you're down. someone whom you could confide in. someone whom you can really trust.
im not out for your love. because i enjoy this unrequited love.can we be a little more than friends. but a lot more to lovers?
with love @ 23:25
went to CCC campfire today. so lousy. not entertaining one. and the officers.. haix~ dont wish to talk about it. their performance, i dont understand a single thing. its full of sian-ness.
mr tan and ms ng came later and we gossip about the teachers in our sch. LOL' that part is entertaining. the buffet not nice one. cos very budget barh? i dont think it'd be enough for everyone lorh. zzz this camp not fun one. lucky nv go.
after that went to the yishun pasar-malam. mr tan insisted in going with us with his car. this mr tan very funny and nonsense one. dots! the pasar-malam very sian. everything also same. nth interesting. then we decided to go home lorh. after me,lingfeng and jena tapped our card and went in, jena suddenly say, 'eehh! why we come in arhh? we should go northpoint and walk!' LOL' i also think this idea not bad so tapped my card and went out. this is the most nonsense part. we realised its alr 10 and shops are closed! LOL' very stupid right? we walked one round inside northpoint and then took train home.
something to share with all of you. its really shiok when you walk in the middle of the road when both sides also got cars past you. really! go try. HAHAH
tell me who is the one in great pain. him, me or him? how's the feeling of being sandwiched in the middle? how would you feel if someone you love tell you he misses her?
but i learnt something from you. i smiled while digging my graveyard.
the ultimate level of loving someone is when your tears dont fall no matter how miserable you feel.*THERE ARE SOME ANSWERS WE TRIED SO HARD JUST TO KNOW IT. BUT THERE ARE SOME YOU WISHED YOU'D NEVER KNOW. I CANT BELIEVE I ENJOYED THIS UNREQUITED LOVE.*
with love @ 23:25
just now, nth to do. took some snapshots. LOL!! cos donny was kissing me like mad. horny eehh? LOL
i editted these pics nonsensely. see if its nonsense.
i wonder who was the actual one who craved for a kiss.
this is how much i love my dog. do you dare to do this?
well well well, call me insane. byebye
NONSENSE POST ;p
with love @ 23:43
had tuition today. 4hours. did mensuration. not bad larh. but got alot of stupid and careless mistakes. zzz very angry with myself. today time like very short.
i woke up at ONE PM ;p then 2plus go tuition to 7. then dinner, slack slack. and here i am blogging. kinda no life. tml will be another hell day. sian sian
i dont need ILOVEYOU from anyone. the existence of heart and tears are to test for love cells.
im leaving traces of me to you. keep it well. someday i want it destroyed.
dont gauge love with worthy or not worthy.
LOVE is not about SORRY.
because love dont last forever, thats why i wont be loving you with the help of time.
sometime later i will find the perfect key for this lock (;
a marshmallow boy must love marshmallows. i will find him in marsh land, mallow road =D
stamped in my mind; staying with the running time.*FRIENDS TILL THE VERY END. JUST THIS SIMPLE OR NOT THAT EASY*
with love @ 22:06
生日快乐仿佛你就在我身边
等待了一年又一年
对你的思念
三百六十五天
我只等这一天
勇敢地把从前
情人节快乐
变成祝你生日快乐
i love you
说不出口的倾诉
i miss you
让挂念代替了相处
瞬间是永远
感情变祝福
可惜甜言也带苦
i love you
是最完美的结束
i miss you
一辈子靠今天接触
瞬间是永远
感情变祝福
可惜都于事无补
今夜有人陪你庆祝
不枉我一年的孤独
请你原谅我不多写一个字
像普通人紆糊
多一字多份痛
今夜我不想哭
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
with love @ 01:20
early in the morning brought my cadets to AI for camp. seems like they are all not prepared. some dont have this, some dont have that. iyo~ i very worried for them leah.
was late for 5-10mins. but also not all schools are there yet. the trainers in this camp have more no.s than the trainees. can you imagine? lucky i nv go. if not really no eyes see.
sir was a lil overboard. he dont want to sign the visitor pass for us. like what lorh. other ppl one he sign, ours he dont want sign. jena was very angry. zzz. after their first parade, we went back. that was only ard 9am lorh. iyoo~
had mac breakfast. LOL then went home slp. slept for 3hrs cos last nite only slept for 3hrs+ only. then evening met xuan and we went ben's birthday bbq tgt.
there was this two sec2 girls joyce and liying keep standing at one side dont want to come and sit down. xuan go ask them come they also dont want. also dont know scared what. then finally, they settled down, after a few ppl go prompt. ate quite alot of bbq-ed marshmallows. my fav right? the food there nto very nice. cold cold one. the guys dont know how to bbq. zzz but they also quite jia lat larh. guests but keep working non-stop. especially martin. still kanna say by ben is dog T_T" mostly the people there were all his relatives. didnt know he got so many relatives one. and then mostly were also very fierce and strict. scary eehh.
well, i really dont wish to say this. but.. the bbq SUCKS. perhaps the whole celebration sucks? can you imagine you being invited to a birthday celebration but when it is the cake cutting and singing of birthday song time, you arent informed. you only realise it is going on when you heard the song. i simply think this is ridiculous. cannot tahan. me, rin and xuan decided to go off since we are so UN-INVITED.
anyways, nearly wore a top similar to someone today. lucky nv wear.. and i mean VERY HENG. if not i also dont know how alr. me and xuan waited for rin's bus then we go home. on the way to xuan's bus stop, we saw ben and martin. i think they were supposed to meet jolene. i dont know this is call SUAY, or FATE. but whatever it is, i really hate it.
martin see i like abit weird weird. say wanna send me home. LOL? this is funny. but after the esso trip, martin say he dont want send alr. HAHAH. this boy so lame one. zzz but nvm larh, i also dont care. ben say me dao, but not i dao lorh. is cos i angry he this birthday boy marh. where got ppl like this one. zzzzz. even when he say BYE, i bo hiu him. my actings sucks. so i rather dont express anything than react to anything. i prefer to be quiet i guess.
i kinda regret going today. other than those parts where the guys are playing nonsensely and dropped into the water etc. everything that is happening sucks. where got go birthday party nv sing birthday song one. this is so ironical. he still wanted to smash a slice of cake on my face. HAHAH. why wont you let me do it instead! still 'pls'.. yarh, wait long long.
ive nv felt so shiok standing at the side of the road looking at the cars driving past me. the breeze they made really very nice. im going all out. im prepared to receive any comments from ppl. seems like im digging my own graveyard.
i cant believe that i can be so stupid as to imagine you would be there, when i saw you TOOK THE BUS - BROUGHT YOU BACK.
im tired. would anyone know how tired i am. so much efforts i'd spent. would i even receive a thanks? i really didnt ask for much. i really dont wish to be selfish. i just wanted basics from you.
on the way home i thought someone would surface and lend a shoulder to me. anyone it could be cos i felt so lonely.
dont expose me when im trying to act. i know my acting skills sucks. at least give me a stairs to step down pls. i wanna be like ELMO. he still laughs no matter he is under what circumstances.
i really dont want you to be sad cos of someone like this. im willing to give you my ELMO. smile smile smile.*IT WAS A DISASTER. NO MATTER WHAT I STILL HAVE TO FACE IT. AT MY WITS END I STAND. BIDDING GOODBYE WAS NEVER EASY.*
with love @ 23:05
today is suppose to go daiso and minitoons to get some stuffs for ben's present one. so intended to go IMM myself today. but, HAHAH. xuan also want buy present. so we went vivo tgt. im not alone. haas'
shopped for 2hour plus then go home lerh. we both bought what we wanted. not wasted trip (;
then when i board bus wanna go home, i put 55cents. this stupid driver say cannot 55cents. WAHH WAHH. so i very attitude and threw 50cent coin into the thing. TSKKKK~
well, this was what i wore today. i like this combination alot leah. nice anot huhh? LOL!!
black+red+white = nice nice ;D
completed the last bit of the present. can relax liao. phew~
went IMM with daddy at night cos he say he want walk walk. HAHAH. in the end, we spent most of our time in giant. the things are cheap. LOL! and we spent 45mins Q-ing for the cashier. compared to the 3+ hour.. its nothing right? hahah.
tml morning gotta bring my cadets to AI for CCC. finally one time dont need go camp liao. so happy. and im looking very forward to the campfire. heheheh.
*I TRIED MY VERY BEST TO DO EVERYTHING. I WONT ASK FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN. BUT IF I WAS WRONG, TELL ME WHAT IS RIGHT. CALL ME SILLY CALL ME DUMB*
with love @ 22:59
overslept and was late for maths class today. coincidentally, xuan also overslept. LOL' the class only have about 10person lorh. so little. and i did nth. eng wee was just revising. not teaching at all. then he gtg and ask us to study ourselves. this is when the entertainment comes. hahah. mel chia suddenly ask whats the meaning of a certain word. ITS A TWIT WORD! hahaha. me and xuan was like laughing and tell him the meaning. he say his MEI use these kinda language talk to him he dont understand. the guys there all dont know what is twit language. so me and xuan introduced them and wrote some examples.
they were very amazed to see how a 2-letter word can transform into 5 or more letters word. HAHAH. then wei chiang was like sending a twit reply to riri with those words. i dont know whats riri's reaction. hope she is not angry right? mel chia took a pic of the twit language we wrote on the board so that he next time receive msg can study and understand. HAHAH.
g=q do you understand? for example, 'girl' is written as 'qirl' . this is the latest twit thing that i had discovered about twit language. they were very confused by why g=q. HAHAH
after that me and xuan went to have mac breakfast at clementi cos i need to go there buy something. its really boring larh. we left school at 10am and our f&n practical is at 2pm. zzz
we went back to sch at around 12noon. dots!! then we went to engwee's empty class to slack and slp. rotted for around 2hrs k? so sian.
so it was TWO finally!! and we start to prepare our practical. the kitchen was in a total mess. you can hardly find the ingredients you want T_T
after some hide and seek session with the ingedients, we started cooking right? (;
not very prepared for the practical actually. everything was very messy. i seeked alot of help from the jia sisters. HAHAH. thanks alert~
chin say my garnishing was very bad. so she helped alot with garnishing. if not, it wont be so colorful lerh. the taste.. ermm, not bad larh. LOL' =x but i was the last to take pic. so by the time can eat, alr very cold liao. bad quality );
then we helped her tidy her kitchen. so messy and untidy arhh. so tired. zzz
finished HEART OF GREED just now. YAY!! 40episodes ok? xuan is slow!! ;p the ending not bad larh. good one. but i still want alfred alive. awww~ 'STARRY STARRY NIGHT. PAINT YOUR PALETTE BLUE AND GREY...'
where got friend like that one? friends should be frank to each other. we should be SELFLESS. not SELFISH.
*I WONDER WHY AM I DOING ALL THESE. ITS SO STUPID AND SILLY. LAUGHING AT MY DUMB-NESS*
with love @ 22:37
as usual, that lit seminar is super boring. zzz leslie and mel chia gave me a very belated present. its a cat pigggy bank? dots..
after the seminar, we went far east to have gelare. cos today is tuesday right? half price alert! HAHAH. this weixing very shiok lorh. he didnt paid for his waffle cos indirectly xuan diverted te cashier's attention. WAHH. he win lorh.
cookies and cream waffle (: drooling? ;p
after that we went to raffles shopping centre. it was a pact made last week to come back to buy elmo stationeries right? bought a notebook and a pencil. its cute cute cute! but i forgotten to take picture =x
well well, after that we decided to Q for this donut factory's donuts. their Q is never-ending one. we Q-ed for 3+4 hrs ok? its super irritating because it's those workers who made the Q so slow. they were slacking inside and they dont have basic managament skills. rin will teach them to put their brains back into their heads instead of their ass. LOLOL' at the counter still have to wait cos they wont confirm have all the flavours you want. rin waited very long just for that two piece of peanut butter glazed. its very very long. they have no time mangaement seriously.
so on the train, we took this pic.
as quoted from rin, we bought 4dozens of donuts in total which cost $46. what is most important is that we Q-ed for like 4hrs? zzz. im not gonna do this anymore. its freaking boring!!
i bought half a dozen. got hazelnut milk choc, peanut dark choc, double choc, peanut butter glazed and spicy cheese. it looks very nice right? tried it at home with family. okok larh. it taste so so only lorh. not as heavenly as i thought it would be. the nicest is the double choc. LOL!!
after dinner went aunt's hse for maths tuition. very very sian arhh. start from basics again. i was yawning away after the first hour. really cannot tahan. had around 3hrs of maths leah. this is killing me. haix~ next session is on sat. sure take very long one. ARGHH~!
anyway, this is the balloon xuan bought me from malaysia.
isnt it cute? HAHAH. she so good!
i feel like dying now. very restless. tml got f&n practical. i not prepared leah. although i alr tried out. somemore morning got maths. tml sure very tired. i really dont like when a present cant be completed on the specific date. zzz this is the first time i feel so afraid and not confident in giving a birthday present.
*I HOPE YOU DIE SOON. YOU ARE BRINGING HARM TO EVERYONE ON THIS EARTH. FALSE HOPES ARE HOPES AFTERALL.*
with love @ 23:29
xuan, ley and huiying were late today. then we all boarded the bus late too. xuan gave me an elmo balloon which she bought from malaysia. she is so nice. LOLOLOL' i know she went through alot of mockings and difficulties while bringing it out. HAHAHA. will post the pic tml. today lazy =x
well well well, i forgotten to take medicine today thus was kinda nonsense on bus. i dont know why larh. my whole body was out of control. zzz
after we reached the bus stop, we still have to walk a very long way to reach the RELC. the journey is freaking long k. we were freaking hot. and we were perspiring like crazy. the seminar just started when we reached there. was around 15-20mins late i guess? its about unseen first. i think it is boring larh. then after that is AEOTP. i totally slept throughout. i dont think got any use also.
after that we shopped awhile at far east. wanted to get another pair of heels. black one. but dont have ): however, i spotted a purple one. its very nice. got my size also. but i dont have much interest to it. but xuan did. so she bought it. HAHAH. can see she is very satisfied.
then we headed down to bugis cos xuan say she wanna go marh. walk walk walk. in the end, bought nth. wasted trip. i hate it when shopping gets boring and in the end bought nth. zzz.
watched HEART OF GREED just now. ALFRED DIED!! xuan lie to me. she say he nv die. ARGHH~ how can die? i want them tgt derh leah ); i cried ok. zzz. my EQ very high. even when their father die, i also cry. i guess im too into the show alr.
during lit seminar, my eyes kept dropping tears cos i guess i was too tired. just now watch tv also keep drop tears.
so is it my EQ abnormally high or my tears glands are attituding? super irritated.
skipped dinner cos i was too engrossed in making something. this thing really made me very pek cek. zzzz. i dont know why am i doing this. because of that, i forgotted to watch CSS too. this is like so wth.
i was so paranoid at those moments. i felt so silly. so outta control nowadays. if i could hate your everything, thats the time when i could smile from the bottom of my heart.
*I WONT ASK FOR YOUR SHOULDER. I JUST NEED A TISSUE FROM YOU.*
with love @ 22:12
today announced hierachy chart. mostly are happy but i think a small portion felt disappointed. but, they must be happy with their post and do their best right? anyways, its probation larh. still got chance for alteration one. HAHAH.
well, i can say my cadets have great potential. they can recite the st.john pledge loud and clear. not bad not bad. still got rooms for improvement (;
we played games after rehearsals. very nonsense and funny right? HAHAHAHA
i owe shuwen,pearle,jasmine and ei chien a small prize right? LOL'
went GRILLER for dinner just now. this michelle always say nice nice nice. so i tempted to go marh. in the end, the food are just so-so only lorh. disappointed. spent $60+ for normal food. zz. not gonna go there anymore.
anyways, i chiong-ed HEART OF GREED until epi36 lerh. very gan zhiong now can!! that stupid second wife. YUCKS!! &&&& alfred is so sweet. there's too much to say about him. he met with an accident. dunno whether he got die anot then the epi end!! WTHHHHH!! how can liddat~ this director pervertic one! how can stop here lorh! so disappointed larh! aww~ alfred dont die, changzaixin forgiven you alr. hang on !! )'; my tears were staying in my eyes jus now dont wan fall when i saw that scene. freaking dvd shop. dont hav disc. made me so gan zhiong. ARGHH~!
*IF YOU EVER WANT TO CHERISH SOMETHING WHEN IT IS GONE, ITS TOO LATE. BUT THERES STILL A CHANCE ONLY WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN IT. WE CANNOT DENY THERES NO MIRACLES*
with love @ 22:52
bio and physics sucks today. i think im beginning to hate science alr. zzz.
after lessons went cityhall with rin and ley cos rin wanna have a transaction with an online shop blog. that girl was late for about 1/2 an hour. rin keep thinking that she is a scammer. but ley and i think likewise. well, after some nonsense chatting. the girl finally came. she pass rin the paper bag and rin pass her the money. then that girl very fast chiong away. i see her liddat quickly ask rin to check the things. one of the flowery dress is not nice and is made up of auntie material. its.. ermm. YUCKS ;x
rin was super annoyed. me and ley too. so this is considered as half-scammer. the pink long sleeve rin also dont really like it. so its like its a waste of money and time today. haix~
was very hungry at that point of time lerh. so we went raffles to eat. formosa ban mian right? LOL' very long nv eat liao. then after lunch, we shopped around. A&BC!! this shop arhh.. got ELMO STATIONERIES!! WAHH~ very nice leah. this week cash-strapped. so next week will go buy. really arhh.. iyo~ dunno what to say. bugis outlet also dont have lorh. whats the prob arhh. and they also got the moriji collections also. oh my oh my oh my. love it (;
ley got alot of stupid acts in the train but i dont really can recall what are they lerh. just very lame larh. very T_T " then me and rin saw this guy soundly aslp with his mouth wide open. very funny you know? HAHAH. this month got alot ppl birthday. my pocket gonna have a hole liao.. awww~ will anyone be my atm? LOLOLOLOL'
tml got st.john meeting. gonna annouce hierachy chart and those passing down duties. yay~ finally. phew~ very stress in the past.
just now went to auntie's house. she say she gonna giv me maths tuition if not i cannot make it to poly liao. so, i will have maths tuition every tues and fri. first time got tuition hahah. this O levels arhh, make me so pressurize );
*YOU WILL SMILE WHEN SOMEONE CRY FOR YOU RIGHT? I HATE YOUR DISGUSTING ACTS. YOU ARE A SUCKER. IM BLINDDDDDDD*
with love @ 22:29
My Tree
Chit Chat
Look Back
he is definitely brighter than the day he was admitted. his ears are a lil redder compared to the pale white. he ate two meals a day which is very remarkable as usually when someone is sick, they dont even wanna eat. look at his bandages. it hurts me so )';
i wonder who was the actual one who craved for a kiss.
chin say my garnishing was very bad. so she helped alot with garnishing. if not, it wont be so colorful lerh. the taste.. ermm, not bad larh. LOL' =x but i was the last to take pic. so by the time can eat, alr very cold liao. bad quality );
after that we went to raffles shopping centre. it was a pact made last week to come back to buy elmo stationeries right? bought a notebook and a pencil. its cute cute cute! but i forgotten to take picture =x
as quoted from rin, we bought 4dozens of donuts in total which cost $46. what is most important is that we Q-ed for like 4hrs? zzz. im not gonna do this anymore. its freaking boring!!
i bought half a dozen. got hazelnut milk choc, peanut dark choc, double choc, peanut butter glazed and spicy cheese. it looks very nice right? tried it at home with family. okok larh. it taste so so only lorh. not as heavenly as i thought it would be. the nicest is the double choc. LOL!!
isnt it cute? HAHAH. she so good!